Letter to Heaven

As time goes by, I found myself constantly thinking about my late father, not that kind of sad flashbacks or whatsoever but maybe if we truly missed someone, that person will never leave your mind.

Hello dad.It's been a while.My previous letter dated long ago and I'm sorry for the delays. How are you there dad? If only you can send pictures of how amazing heaven will be I'll be over the moon. I'm still struggling with practicals, which will end soon. I lost track of time, your daughter is so busy and she spent most of her time sleeping after work. I haven't got the chance to meet mom for 5 weeks, I missed home so much but I will be back this weekend. 

I'm perfectly fine but your little girl seems to miss you quite often these days. Found your photos on my dropbox account and you can't imagined how emotional I was when i saw these photos because I'm not there to witness your progress during the time you were admitted to hospital. You seem okay in this photo, but when I came back that day, the day you were in ICU, you were in your worst condition. 

Time flies but still the fact that you were gone makes me feel crushed. Time is the great healer, they said and I couldn't agree more. How much time I need to be completely okay with you not here with us? Even me myself can't provide an answer to that question. I can only put my hopes and trust in Him, as I know He will directs me to His path, even though without your existence, He sends someone as a Helper for me, so that whenever I feel lost and hopeless, whenever I fell i long for your existence, He will always be here reminding me that you are okay and we will be perfectly fine.

Letter To Heaven

Dear dad,

It's been so long since I wrote you the last letter. How are you dad? Everything is fine there? I bet you must be enjoying heaven's life.Thank you God, for watching over you there :')
Life is kinda smooth right now, some things bothered me but nahh, your little girl won't be affected by that.I will still going strong despite of all the trials and tribulations coming through. Mum's doing really great, taking her usual medication, no visible bad effects shown, do not worry too much yeah? We will watch over her, as we promised that day.
oh yeah, Happy Father's Day dad, seeing lots of people wishing to their dad making me miss you even more. No words can define how you've been the greatest man in my life, I wish you know that. I'm slowly coping with the fact that you've gone but I know heaven needs you more than myself, they need a hero :')

I keep this letter short and simple this time. I'm afraid the more I write, in the end I'll ended up crying.Some wounds are harder to heal, that is the same way I feel about how you've gone. Till next time, I'll write more dad.  

Much love,

your daughter <3

Letter to Heaven

Dear Daddy,

I wanna scream to show how much I missed you, but that could make me look like some kind of freak. I miss you dad, more than everything. I still remember vividly about the details, when you were still laying on the bed, suffocating, breathing with the aid of machine, my heart sank, ached and I really don't want you to suffer. You've suffered so much when you were raising 6 of your children, working days and nights to make sure your family at kampung will get enough money. You will always tried your best to fulfill our needs and requests. There was a time when I asked you to buy me a bicycle, in return I'll do the best in my year end examination during primary school, Year 3. I managed to secured the first place, but you didn't do as you promised. I feel frustrated. I was so into bicycle that time, since my friends, almost all boys, have their own.

I told mum how frustrated I was, but mom comforted me and said that "Your dad most probably forgot about it, since he is so busy with works. Try to understand him" 

You bought a bicycle for me when I'm 12 years old. It was a big, yellow bike.

Now, as I grew up, I finally understand my childhood memories. I was so young and I didn't know that you worked so hard to earn a living, sometime you forgot to give the best for yourself. You give priority to  your family, as long that we are happy, and you will feel happy as well. You only come back to hometown twice a year, June and December. I was so excited when the time you'll be coming home because you always collect coins and put it inside a bottle and brought it home, for me. You will sleep on the couch, snoring loudly. You always told us the funny story about Moliat and ghost stories. We were all terrified when it comes to ghost stories but you just laugh and said, " Human are more terrifying than ghosts, since human can kill you while ghosts can't"

It's been 1 year, since the day you left us. The day you died because of septic shock, part of me is dying too. The big hole inside my heart seems can't be filled, no matter how hard I tried to fill it up, no matter how hard I try to keep myself busy so that I won't be drawn away by this sadness. I dreamt about you sometimes, and I feel so real. I can feel you were reaching out for me, and by the time I wake up, you were gone, along with the dream. I searched everywhere in our house, for your old photos, photos of us together but it turned out as a disappointment  to me since we didn't took photos together a lot.

Now, I grew up stronger, emotionally, as I prayed to God to grant me a strong-will heart to continue living, even though part of me is dying along with your physical body. You are in a better place than here. Just want you to know that we will always love you, always be, and forever will be. I may find my prince someday, but you are still my King.

with love,

your daughter.

Letter to Heaven.

Hello dad, It's been a while, your daughter is pretty busy handling college life, as I'm in the middle of semester 2 now :) Nothing much had changed since you're gone, we are still continuing our life, even though sometime we do feel hopeless and we do miss you dad :') 

Mum, she's not feeling very well in the fast few days, maybe because she is too tired from taking care of Charlie. Don't worry dad, we keep our promise to you, as we promised to you that we will always take a good care of her. She's okay, but she lose some weight.

How things going down there dad? 

Sister posted something about Tom and Jerry on Facebook today, it reminds me of your favourite cartoon back then, and your favourite ice cream is Red Bean Ice Potong. I still remember when we are going to the shop, you will asked us to buy the ice cream for you, and you don't want anything else, you just stick with your ice cream. I still remember your ghost stories you used to tell to us, to make us feel scared.Hahaa ;) You never failed to make us feel very scared with your stories. Some of the stories are funny, and we laughed together. 

When you're gone, things get a little harder.As for me, I'm the youngest in our family. I have to stay strong. I have no choice. To be stronger emotionally is a hard process.Trust me, along the way, I might be emo, I might be regretting what I've done, I might cry in the middle of the night but I kneel down and prayed, to seek for His love and calmness. It works. 

I'm not dwelling to the past dad, I know everything happens for a reason. It's time for you to meet Him. I want you to stay longer with us, but it would be a selfish act as I can only plan, but God decides everything.

I can only pray, along my way of life, I wish, I can stay walking with God and when it is the time for me to go, I know, eternal life is waiting for us. Thank you dad, for being our greatest dad, you will be always be my hero.  

much love,

your daugther

Letter to heaven

Dad, your little girl is missing you very much. How am I going to survive when the half of my soul is now gone?

Letter to heaven.

I'm home dad :) a little bit late, I'm supposed to write sooner but your lazy little girl is so busy saving the world. Happy Father's Day dad :') We went to the church last Sunday, Mum, Charlie, Gbeat, Bianca and me. That day was the celebration. Pastor preached about Perfect Father. He showed us some videos, relating to Father's day. We all touched. Pastor told the fathers to gather with their family and pray. We sat there, praying even though you are not by our side. I honestly feel a little bit sad, looking to the other family, praying with their dad. Then suddenly, Aunt Kasinah came and hugged us. I cried, I'm really touched, she even prayed for us.That's the proof that you will never leave us.

Mum is getting better and better each day. She hang the wedding anniversary pictures on the wall. You look so handsome in suit dad :) There are so many memories of you here. I just want to live at this moment :)

Always loving you.

love,

your daughter.

Letter to heaven.

How are you dad? We missed you so much.Things turned out to be tough since you've gone. I can barely recognize myself.My mind isn't here anymore, and I longed for your existence.

 I torture myself with sad song whenever I think about you. I still need you, but I guess heaven was needing you more. It is hard to believe. I look into the old photos and I found some pictures of yours, when you're still healthy, still smiling cheerfully. 

I feel bad about our last argument, during that time, I saw you crying, just because of stupid things we do to our family, and I still remember you said that you don't know how many days left for you to be with your family, and you hope that the family will be reunited again. I've never thought that one day you will leaving us, but now, it all make sense.

Dad, I feel empty and weak. I cannot stand on my own in this cruel world without you as my guide. the day that you left, Mum said, "He never hit me, since the first day we get married and until now". Mum was crying, I cant help myself from crying too. That is the most emotional moment in my life.

Mum is getting better and stronger. I believe that she will. I've never seen true love before this, now I've already see it. Love between you and her. 

Dad, wherever you are, I love you and we will meet soon in heaven. I'll continue writing to you whenever I got the time okay Dad? 

with love,

your daughter.