It is not the same anymore.

This year Christmas celebration is very simple yet meaningful to me but I feel slightly different because Dad was not here together with us celebrating Christmas. It's been the first year of Christmas without him. When I see all the other families gathered together, I admit that I miss Dad even more. But I've promised myself not to dwell in sorrow, but to accept the fact that everyone is going to die sooner or later as life is not forever, but the end of our life we will be together with Him and who believes in Him shall receive an eternal life.

To be honest, after my dad passed away, I've been very inactive in joining any church activities especially in praise and worship. I told to myself I just want to lay low, but in fact I'm too sad and I can't accept that he's now gone forever.

Then I went back to my hometown, my cousin asked me to join the practice for Christmas celebration, I just answer I will go, if I'm not busy. I still joined them at the end.

During the celebration, Pst Alexander was the one who preach about "Having a good way of life in Jesus" I always admire how he explains about the bible, very clear and understandable. At this moment, I've realised that I'm living my life out from the right track. I think back what I've done in the past few months right after my dad passed away. 

I was miserable, stone heart, frustrated and I blamed myself for not being a good daughter. 

Then after listening to his preach, I began to realised that God never leave us, it is us who always leave Him. I came to Him with a very broken heart, frustrated with what happen to my family, I ain't a perfect person but He still accepts me as His child. He always bless me with His abundant blessing and I couldn't ask for more :)

 Always in remembrance.