My mind was pretty occupied with this 5 points.

1.Missing Piece

If you ask me, where do I find myself a safest place to hide? A shelter, a place where you can be yourself and be free from all those hectic life. I will call that place home. A warm smile that feel so close to your heart waiting for you inside, sound of cranky kids with their own world, family which always be by your side even though how reckless and imperfect you are. I've noticed that the situation is slowly changing. People change, so does the wise man said. I became unsure about my definition of home, since I can feel I'm losing myself here.

2. Don't get attached

Love can be a pretty damn confusing. Sometimes you can feel the air is full of love, you can barely touch the ground. You started to look beyond what you could see now, started imagining what could be happen the next 10 years. Sometimes you are in doubt, can you survive? Can this love bear all those rough cold wind that always gets in your way?  Does true love exists?

3. Silence

Whenever trials and tribulations get in my way, I really want to spill it all over to someone, seek advices but to be honest, I really don't want to hear any harsh advices that make the situation worse. then I keep it all inside, until finally  I'll explode. 

4. Immature

One does not know how to measure maturity. Age doesn't defines maturity, then how we measure it? Met a few people, who clearly being ignorant all the time and didn't care about others but only themselves.  

5. Growing up is tiring.

As we grow up, we become to see how we are supposed to carry responsibilities towards ourselves, to our family and people surrounding. How I wish i can stay at this age forever, or even younger than this where the only problem I need to face is my missing toys.

nerve-wrecking journey

My brain juice is decreasing. I wanted to write about everything, my practical so far, experience, funny things happened at work but I just can't write it all, for now. Practical life is tiring, I must admit that. I enjoyed myself, surrounded with funny people ( Pn Irene and Pn Intan) at Queen Elizabeth II Hospital but at the same time being monitored by a strict boss is quite an "amazing"experience.With my weaknesses here and there, my lousy skills as a pharmacy assistant, lack of competent  etc etc really driving him (boss) mad.He gave us a cold shoulder and making me feel nervous whenever he is around because he is there watching every step and your mistakes. I am coping with his attitude, it's hard but i'll try my best. It was different from what I've been expected. I'm not expecting a life with a bed of roses but certainly it was deviated from my imagination. I feel so tired after work and I usually spend my night with hitting the sack early at 9pm.
I'm worried about my future. Maybe I'm a type of person who can't handle so much stress and too much pressure. I'm not saying that this field of work I'm doing now is stressing, it's more to the process of being an excellent worker. People said its too early to be worried about those things, you'll soon, become like them, trained and experienced personel but sometime I just can't see the future which has my name on it.

Rants

I miss writing and spilling my thought into written form, as I can't express it verbally. Lot's of thing happening around me, and I don't know how to start. Holiday almost over and it means I will start my practical session at Hospital Queen Elizabeth soon. Went room cleaning at Kepayan Ridge today, met Hazirah, my new roomate for this year and I gave her the keys. Truth is, I don't even ready for practical. I'm sort of afraid of starting my practical year, I'm afraid I will give a bad first impression to the staff at Pharmacy Department. 

I've been listening to quite lots of new song lately, thanks to non-stop watching MTV early in the morning, my playlist finally updated. 

1. Six Degrees of Separation- The Script

2. What About Love- Austin Mahone

3. Counting Stars- OneRepublic

4. Let Her Go- Passenger

5. Learn To Love Again- Lawson

Sometime while listening to the song, the lyrics kinda related to my past/present/future so Ijust let my emotion mixed with the songs and yeah, blame the hormones for making me feel extra emotional because of one freaking song.HAHA

I just need to keep calm and rest assured. Everything will be just fine.

this is so random.

Social networks started to bloom since, err I don't quite remember when, but the first social network I signed up is, Myspace. I still remember going to cyber cafe and started browsing Myspace, looking for hot guys' profile, steal their pictures and then claimed to be your die-hard crushes. Silly. I do remember it quite clear, this one guy I used to have crush on him, he went to different school, and he had a girlfriend back then. I told my best friends there is one guy I kinda like, then showed them his photos and one of my friend told me he is not handsome at all. Then I defended him, saying that that is just a bad picture of him.nyahahahah
At the end, nothing happened, I stopped having crush on him, and he doesn't know anything until now (or maybe he doesn't know me at all.lol)

I signed up for Friendster. Friendster was like, wao! at that time, where you can post a shoutout, change your backgrounds, sending testimonials with glittery comments. Here, people with highest number of friends are considered as friendster famous. You can see lots of profile with names such as:
1) BaObei FULL
2)Xiao Cute FULL

those names ended with "FULL" considered they've reached the maximum number of friends, which means they are famous.Not to mention they fake their profile pictures by using artist's photos. Then you can check who's viewing you profile recenty by clicking the *Whos View me* button. Not suitable for a stalker like me but you will feel your heart flutters when someone who is you crush appears on the "Who's view me" page. HAHAHA *silllyyyyyyyy

Then here comes the most crucial part, which is Facebook. It's becoming a phenomena, there's a song entitled for this site, relationships, family and even friendships are ruined because of one post. Then you can read a public diary posted every 5 minutes about how bored they are, relationship status *A is in a relationship with B* , statuses like *I hate my life*, *I'm gonna deactivate my fb soon.Bye* *I love my hubby so much muah muah* *I took 500g PCM today because of fever* *I'm ugly:duckface* .I admit I've been in that*jahiliah moment* back then. Silly times 1000000.

Forgot to mention there are people who can't spell correctly.
S4Y3 SUK3 4W4XXX muaxxxx

urghhhhhhhhhhhh.

try harder when you failed.

Subcribed to Jayesslee youtube channel long time ago (I always follow their updates :) and I saw their new cover. I'm waiting for their new video so this is it. Their angelic voices never failed to make me feel amazed. Then, Janice make an announcement that she is getting married soon! I'm feeling like the cloud nine.Teheee ^_______^ *macam saya pula yang kahwin kan

I'm happy for Janice and her fiance. May God bless your marriage :3 Continue using your voice to be a blessing towards other people.

This song reminds me to try harder when you failed.

This one goes out to all those who are feeling a little burnt and hopeless. You gotta get up and try and try and try.

They wrote this as the video description and it really catches my attention. I do feeling a little bit frustrated, with some of my classmates behaviour, things got worse and I realised the stress I've been carrying on my shoulder is consuming me. Don't worry yan, after the event tomorrow, all of your worries will be gone.I've promised to myself, I don't want to involve in any class activities anymore. I feel unfair to those who sacrificed their time practicing and doing the best for the performance while the others wasting time and complaining at the back. 

It's so pathetic when smarter people don't know how to cooperate.